Well, I'm officially finished blogging for Central. Everything previous to this was written as my travel blog for my semester abroad and also appears (with their edits) on the Central College website somewhere. The woman in charge of the blog actually called me after I submitted it because it made her cry. I've never felt so much love from a phonecall in my life. It was a genuinely touching experience.
Beyond that, I'm stuck in Rensselaer for another two weeks. This summer class has become a living hell. I hate it. I need to keep writing our final paper. It's due a week from Monday, but I'm going to be gone all of next weekend. I find it so hard to be productive when I'm miserable. Also, while here, I've found myself addicted to facebook. And I don't like it, because I'm not one of those people who clutters up your news feed with useless surveys and crap. I find all of that to be insufferable; although, I was so bored last night that I almost broke down and did a survey. It was: "What Marvel superhero are you?" I was curious; although, if I wouldn't have gotten the superhero I wanted, I would have been sorely disappointed.
Because I refuse to connect coherent thoughts, the other plight of this summer class has become my eating habits. People refuse to acknowledge me when I talk about eating because they think I'm too skinny. I'm not anorexic, nor do I think I have any sort of warped self-image; however, I have a problem with my eating habits because they're just shitty. I don't care how fit someone is, they should eat properly and with restraint. I haven't done that since I arrived in Rensselaer. I eat constantly--I eat crappy junk food constantly. It worries me. But then, last night, I stepped on a scale and it said I weighed 149.5 pounds, which is less than I was expecting it to read. I was expecting a solid 158 to pop up on the digital display. I don't know what to think.
Also, to continue to dump my thoughts into this box of words, I've found myself for the first time questioning my faith. Not in any serious way, mind you, but just something small. For the first time, I've found myself questioning whether or not I'm doing the right thing saving myself for marriage. Well, sometimes it's not even the question of right or wrong, because that's such a subjective thing, but why I'm saving myself. I mean, even with that, I have all of these answers as to why I have, but then I wonder whether or not it's worth it in the end.
Those are all of the useless thoughts that have been stewing in my head for the past week or so. Next time I sit down to write, I'll have more to say; I promise.
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